Night Time Family Devotions

Deuteronomy 11:18  Fix these words of mine into your mind and being, and tie them as a reminder on your hands and let them be symbols on your forehead. 11:19 Teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road,  as you lie down, and as you get up. 11:20 Inscribe them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates

As part of our daily routine, we always try to have family devotions before bedtime.   And if we miss it, it’s just not the same for kids to go to bed without devotions.  They ask for it.  It’s part of our life.  God’s word is to read, to be cherished, and honored.  They aren’t perfect in paying attention but it’s a tradition, a time they look forward to.  I hope they remember this also when they’re older as a great memory.  We generally have this time in girls’ room.  Once in a while in our bedroom, the living room, or “hang out” room (which is what we labeled the upstairs family room ) and the kids go crazy over this.  Oh the little joys in life!  Sometimes we do devotions at dinner. Sometimes things happen or come up and we don’t get to.  Such is life sometimes, ain’t it?

It’s our responsibilities as parents to teach our children in the way they should go, especially in the ways of the Lord.  We shall teach them the Word; what it says, means and how to live it.  I had a great devotional with the kids this morning as we read Psalm 90.  They may not understand it all now but it’s never too early to start instilling the value and love of the Word and time together as a family in reading and learning it together.  My youngest is 5 and just when I don’t think she’s thinking, she’ll pop up with some comment that has been brewing in her mind that was sparked by something I said or read, and it’s wonderful (aside from being so cute!)

I cherish these times.  The girls almost always want to cuddle with me while we have our devotions and it’s a sweet moment and memory that I hold dear.  May they too, cherish the time and remember it.  If not, they will have this post to read!  Love you guys!

What Young Guys Say About Modesty

Modesty isn’t dead.  It isn’t ancient culture.  It’s biblical and it’s concept does not fade with culture and time.  It’s encouraging to know that mothers are still teaching their sons and sons are passing it on to their own generation.  Here are some guys’ thoughts.  Check it out.  Be encouraged.  Be changed for the glory of God.

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/overview

True Friends Are Honest and Not Easily Offended

This old blog entry says it well. 

http://voices.yahoo.com/true-friendship-proverbs-276-3914792.html?cat=72

Be my friend, and be open, honest and chill on the defense.  Peace out.

 

Fine Lines in Modesty

Yes, there was some pun intended in that title.

So, I read this article recently, posted by a friend on FB.  My friend didn’t write the article, she just referenced it .  http://jeffbethke.com/the-idolatry-of-modesty/  I mostly liked the article.  While I thought he brought up some good points, I just wanted to divulge a little on some things.

“Because promiscuity is so prevalent today, we in the church have reacted by elevating modesty to unhealthy proportions. We jump too quickly into behavior modification and don’t realize that most of our modesty campaigns are actually borderline legalism.”   Modesty has been around for as long as the we know, but so has promiscuity.  There have always been cultural standards.  It comes from an inherent moral gauge.  We all have that inside voice telling us there’s something not quite right with what I’m doing, or in this case, wearing.  It’s called our conscience, which is God-ordained.  Promiscuity has been around since the old testament.  And it has not stopped.  Nay, it has increased with the sign of the times, and especially the women’s feminist movement.  The world’s feminist movement is not a biblical one, but that’s for another blog roll.  I agree that some people have jumped the extreme, but we shouldn’t  dismiss the “guidelines” as a whole given as a principle in pursuing modesty.  When it’s elevated as a test of one’s salvation, then it’s a problem.  As in any situation, we all need practical advice for many are clueless.  Writers, teachers, commentators, leaders, etc, have been doing so forever.  That’s part of how we learn anything.  People live, learn and share.  Unfortunately, teaching on this subject is either lost or minimally superficial because it’s such a touchy issue.  We’ve let the culture dictate our biblical convictions.  Only few can get away with being straight out coarse in certain areas.  Based on one’s perspective or reception, some may take it better from a Mark Driscoll type; others from a Greg Laurie type, or the other spectrum: sadly, TBN people.  Not everyone is receptive to confrontation, even if it is in love.  It is telling of one’s heart.  I think it’s just as hypocritical to accuse someone of being legalistic just because they are firm on their standards.  Sure, behavior modification is not the goal.  It’s definitely a heart issue.  But I think the two can be simultaneously taught (bold emphasis mine).  Why do we dress the way we do?  What glory are we seeking?  What does our appearance say about us.  “We dress like this because we seek to honor Christ with our bodies.  Love God more than your looks; more than your desire to have people look at you in awe; more than your desire to feel sexy.  Don’t go to extremes.”   If anyone says that their appearance, says absolutely nothing about them; they are either unaware, naive, or flat out lying.

The skirt test- paragraph 2.  I admit that I’ve never attended a private school as a student so I don’t have that personal experience.  I taught at one for a brief time and they had uniforms yet I’ve never seen or heard of “the knee test”.  But, oh how I dig uniforms.  It takes all the nonsense out.   I think it’s a huge assumption to say they “like” to do the skirt test.  People go to these schools/universities, etc, knowing that there are rules.  There are rules everywhere.  God has “rules”, and they are good for us.  Rules (or laws, if you will) are set, mainly for our good.  I don’t tell my kids not to run into the street without looking because I’m legalistically looking for ways to set my standards on them.  Not running into the street is not a rule or even a guideline mentioned in the bible, as with many “rules” we’ve set for ourselves.   Let’s not dismiss and be so cynical about practical guidelines that seek our good.  Take it with a grain of salt if you choose.  But don’t jump to the eye roll just because someone is more conservative than you on certain issues.  I don’t think rules like such should be used to embarrass people, but there is a time and place to use certain situations to make an example of either for the good or bad.  Like, if I see a drugee on the street knocked out homeless, I might say something like, “look, that is not where you want to be.”  I don’t think that’s out of line.  It’s real.

“In the Body we need to realize using men’s sin and lust issues as the reason why a woman should dress a certain way is actually making her just as much an object than if she were to dress promiscuously.”  This just doesn’t sound right to me.  Maybe some are using “men’s sin and lust issues” as an excuse.  But it’s reality.  It’s not so much ‘using’ those issues as it is realizing those things and every one doing their part.  Men need to check themselves.  And as their sisters in Christ, we need to check ourselves too, in more ways than one.  It’s about considering one another (Phil2:3, Rom12:10, 1Pet1:22) in purity.  Why is it that we want to wear short skirts anyway?  Is it really just because it’s cute?  Why is it cute?  Who says so?  Is it cute because it shows more leg?  More leg exposure is almost always synonymous with more sexy.   Sadly, I even learned that at a young age.  Why do you intentionally want your breast exposed at all?  Is there any other reason?

“Every lady should ask herself when getting dressed, “am I getting dressed thinking about God’s gaze upon me or someone else’s?” Because the truth is whether you dress to be looked at modestly, or you dress to be looked at promiscuously, you are still dressing to be looked at by someone other than your Creator, which is idolatry. There is nothing wrong getting dressed or picking clothes because you think others will think they’re cute, what I am saying though is, is that affirmation ultimate in your life?”  Okay, I don’t know the guy; have nothing against him and mean no offense but, I’m kind of a grammar nazi and his written grammar is bad.  Forgiven.  Okay, I had to get that out.  Now then.  I like the way he stated this, minus the grammar.  I know!!  I’m sorry!  We all need affirmation sometimes in our life.  God has created us with a need for love and affection.  That’s who He is- LOVE.  But we depraved tend to be obsessive in seeking affirmation in places we ought not.  I know this.  I’ve lived this.  I’m a descendent of Eve.  I admit I still struggle with it at times.  Oh, the wretch that I am!  If you wouldn’t want to wear something in company of “church people”, then maybe you need to rethink why.  Is it you or the latter?  If you think, “well, non-believers won’t judge me.”  Well, there’s a reason for that.  But even pagans have standards.  There’s a reason for that too.

Basic, safe guidelines, if I may. I know… it’s a list.  Bear with me.  It’s the format of writing.  Granmar nazi, remember?  I’m sure I’m not perfect at it either.  What a hypocrite, huh?

1. Let not your cleavage show.  If your boobs hang out at all, cover them.  Don’t forget to do the bend-over check.  If your shirt flies wide open and your boobs are totally exposed in that position, who gains a view?  Ladies with bigger bust, you just have a little more challenge, but it’s not impossible.  I’ve seen it done.  If you were covered before bending over, just be sure to suavely catch your shirt before it opens on your way down and while you’re down there.  No biggie right?
2. Belly dance in your bedroom.  This isn’t a deal breaker but if your shirt is short enough to rise when your arms do, maybe it’s better not to wear it in public?  I’m sure your husband would like to see it though.
3. If you can barely move in it, you should probably either lose weight or move on.  Was that too crass?  No offense.
4. If it’s in your crotch and you’re constantly tugging at it, it’s too tight.  Not to mention unhealthy.  Did you know that wearing tight-fitting bottoms in your privates can cause bacterial growth?  Ew.  Double whammy.
5. If you sit down and just can’t seem to pull your skirt or shorts down far enough because you now feel uncomfortable to sit, it’s too short.  You should have some room to move safely in that skirt or dress.  Is your show rated R or G?
6. If you can’t bend without your bootie showing; c’mon, it’s too short.
7. If you can see through it, you might as well be naked.  Refer to #7.
8. Bikinis- Let’s be honest.  There’s just nothing modest about them.  You might as well go out in your underwear and bra.
9. It’s not that you aren’t pretty, or don’t have a great body.  That’s not what God created your body for.   If you’re hot and you know it, humility wears sexier than arrogant pride.  Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

“Everything caters to men.”  This is somewhat true but I have heard teaching and opinions on both.  We as a whole do need to teach men, especially the youth, about their responsibilities.  But again, you run the risk of being “legalistic” in setting rules and boundaries.  I try to teach both sides.  I two little girls and one teenage son.  I’ve grown in my walk with Christ, thanks be to God.  I began to teach my first daughter more consistently about modesty as I mature in knowledge of it.  She has a younger sister.  I have been talking to my girls openly about modesty; what’s appropriate and what isn’t; and what’s acceptable in our home.  It’s a process for sure.  They don’t understand quite yet why other Christians dress in what we’d consider immodest.  So, for the last few years, I’ve since been teaching my girls gradually on the issue and they are slowly grasping it, even though they don’t fully understand why.  It’s about trusting me as their God-given parent, caregiver, protector and authority.  My son is down syndrome but functioning high enough to understand appropriateness.  I  continually talk to him about lusting.  He’s a human man.  He is not exempt from this struggle.  I also teach him about his responsibility to look away and protect his eyes as to protect his heart.  Is this idea so lost today?  Is it really that extreme?  Scripture is extreme.  His eyes wander in the very same direction all average men do- the body and any exposed private parts.  True, a man will lust even if she is covered head to toe.  That’s his heart issue.  This is not license to do the opposite.  So, men, make it your responsibility to not make women feel sinful for being pretty.  Protect your sisters by not arousing hormones before it’s time.  Is she yours to gawk at lustfully; caress tenderly, think upon sensually?  Is she committed to you in matrimony?  Then think again.  You have no right until you vow to love her in HOLY matrimony.  God’s glory is the goal.  God-sanctified union is the cure to your heat.  Women- do your part.

“We love rules and regulations…”  Like I said before, the bible gives us lots of “rules”, and they are for our good.  “Love God…Children, obey your parents…love one another…be pure..”  The list goes on.  Of course, live for Jesus!  But by these things, you will know they are His disciples.  OH scripture, the Christian life is much more complex than we want to admit.  “Just love Jesus!”  What doe that mean exactly???  It means so much more than we even know.  The Spirit gives us strength to fulfill the law, like Jesus fulfilled it.  He fulfilled it for us, and in turn He works the law through us, perfecting it as we grow in Him.  It’s a mystery how it all works, but all praise to Him who is sovereign over it all.

I know opinions on modest varies.  I realize that some are of the mindset that pants are only for men; long ankle skirts/dresses are most modest; along with long hair and no make up.  There’s definitely something well to be said about the femininity of women in dresses/skirts.  I can appreciate that even though I don’t believe that women are restricted to just that.  And I can also appreciate a desire to remain o’naturale.  It’s a beautiful thing, so long as they are not condemning others in a spiteful way.  I definitely think, the more natural, the better.  But I’m not saying it’s law.  “Everything is good, but not everything is beneficial.” (1Cor10:23-24)

His “solution“.  First paragraph, I like and agree.  Second paragraph, I have to modify to say that you should seek godly counsel from your husband, definitely.  Women, we should honor our husband’s opinion rather than being so quick on the defense. If you look fat, you look fat.  It’s okay.  You’re not going to look good in everything.  Ain’t that the hard truth?  But it’s okay!  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  There’s always room for improvement.  Don’t be drenched in your own pity over your shortcomings.  And don’t drag others into your pity party.  Let Jesus cover that.  His grace is sufficient.

Secondly on the second paragraph, just because he’s a Christian brother, or Christian boyfriend, doesn’t mean he knows what he’s talking about, or will be honest with you.  Peers tend to be just as insecure and may be afraid to be truthful out of embarrassment or pride or immature to know the difference.  Take your pick.  If not your husband, seek out your father, elder, pastor or elder woman; someone wiser and older than you possibly.  This is not to say that your peer may not have good counsel, but generally speaking, it’s likely more “safe” to seek the former list.  Ask for the straight up  truth and don’t be offended when they give it.

The last 2 lines of the last paragraph: money.

Okay, so I divulged a lot.  It’s not as easy an issue as it appears to be.  And confronting the issue is awkward and uncomfortable because we want to be so careful not to hurt others.  My intention is not to hurt or vainly judge and criticize for the sake of building myself up (or like-minded persons) or put anyone down.  I’m passionate about purity.  I think this partially stems from my own experience in the loss of purity at a young age.  I was not taught godliness, even though my God-given conscience had always told me what’s good and right.  I did things I’m not proud of.  Impure things.  Long story short, I had a child, out of wedlock at 16.  Quite shameful, actually.  And it’s right that I feel shame over them acts, past or not.  But they don’t rule me.  God used my son to bring me to Himself.  I was such rebellious sinner, won over by the grace of God.   The other reason is that purity is so beautiful.  Our Lord is pure.  The cleanest, holiest, unblemished of all beings.  A pure relationship with Him is such a harmonious song.  It’s hard to describe.  Therefore, earthly relationships based on purity defined by God is a beautiful story.  I wish I had a great love story or purity.  But thank God he is merciful and gracious, faithful to forgive us our transgressions when we ask.  I have the chance to seek such purity in my marriage.  And that’s a daily construction site.

My intention in speaking out is for the glory of God and for the purity of His name.  I could say more, and I know there are things I’ve left out.  It’s not my intent to cover every inch (some pun) of this issue.  Our appearance, as legalistic as it may sound, is important- to an extent.  You would dress appropriately to impress a employer when going in for an interview, or a date.  Why isn’t it important to “dress” for God?  We are called and commanded to do many things in scripture, but it’s not for our salvation or our glory, but born out of a desire to please Christ, which in turn brings us the joy of obedience.  It’s for our good.

The Day I Smelled Like Fish

So, here’s the scene. Yesterday I decided I would finally use that gel capsule that’s been sitting on my bathroom counter for the last month or so. I thought, today’s the day I rub it on and have me some smooth skin. Seriously, I’ve been that lazy to bite open a little capsule and use it??

Anyway, I just finished my shower and I’m all over that vitamin E and on with smooth skin. I then drive to the store to pick up a few things. I get in the van and beside myself in stench, wondering where in the world is that smell coming from. It’s fishy. So I’m looking around, thinking and smelling my steering wheel. My eyes follow the wheel to my hand. And I realize, it’s my hand that wreaks and like fish no less!! Why in tarnation does my hand and arms smell so fishy?? Well, that shimmery gel cap I though was vitamin E turned out to be FISH OIL!!! I was grossed out. Really. I love fish, but that’s ridiculous. I like fishing too and I didn’t even have any fish to show for it. That’s why that gel cap had been sitting there. The fish oil capsule is so big and even though I can swallow it no problem, I still don’t like to. I mean, really. It’s so big!

Well, I took a shower and scrubbed twice and a third time with lemon juice. I’m please to let you know that I no longer smell like fish. Funniest prank I ever played on myself. Others have joined in on the laughs on my behalf. I’m glad to serve folks.

P.S. I don’t recommend fish oil as a lubricant.

Saturday Mornings

Another tradition I started some time ago.  Not sure exactly when.  If I had to guess, I’d say a few year ago.  I don’t get to it perfectly, whether it’s sleeping in too late before an appointment, or having to leave too early before something that was planned.  It’s also a sleep in day if we don’t have any obligations that Saturday.  So when I wake up, I usually make a special breakfast, or I should say brunch by the time I finish cooking and we eat.  The kids look forward to Saturday “morning” meal.  Or shall I say the first meal of the day.  It’s the one day of the week that I usually go all out, and they get  EGGS!!  During the week, they eat cereal, bagels or fruit or a mixture of things, something easy.

So last weekend Cody and Kira held out for a big breakfast as Lexi went for cereal first.  Lexi loves cereal.  And I tend to buy the sugary ones as a ‘treat’.  I know, I’m a terrible mom for feeding them that junk!  One of my weaknesses.  So, I got up to get it for her and went back to lay down (I know, how lazy).  It was only 9am!!!  On a Saturday!!!  So, Cody was trying to hold her back from eating anything because “mom” was going to make food.  Funny.

 

So on this day, I made, for the 1st time, sweet potato battered french toast using rye bread and smoothies.  The girls weren’t too crazy about it but ate some.  Cody like it enough to eat seconds.  Not sure if he was just really hungry or what but he seemed to have enjoyed it.   This, with a side of tropical smoothie.

 

pretty good.

The Precious Love of My Daughters

Today was a full day.  We started off the day with one of my kids favorite food, breakfast burritos.  They love eggs.  They love meaty meals, period.  Went to the rec center for a couple of hours of swimming.  Then an unplanned rest of the day shopping.  First, we went to Costco for some food.  Strolled through the store and ate samples.  They have the best samples.  Then off to a newer store in our area, Gordmans.  Nice store.  Then marathon shop to World Market, Petco, Old Navy, Target, and Bed Bath Beyond (I love the gadgets in this place!).  For about 5 hours, my kids were shopping machines.  They didn’t complain (much).  They are such shopping machines.  They about ask me almost every day if we can or are going shopping and are disappointed when we don’t.

I know I’m not the perfect parent and they are surely a blessing I do not deserve.  God has been so gracious to me and I’m glad my mom didn’t have a say in it.  She often cried curses at me when I was younger, saying that she hoped my kids were worse than I was to her.  I admit I was a headache of a child.  I was the youngest.  But God spared me.  Hallelujah!

Anyway, my youngest, who is currently 5, soon to be 6 in July, says to me as we’re walking to one of our target stores (no pun intended), she says to me in her baby-like voice (so cute too), “I wanna stay with you mommy.”  I never want to leave you.  I want to stay with you forever.”  Some moments are just better than others.  I definitely hope to remember them all.  But with my memory sometimes, it’ll be challenging for sure, which is why I write (or type).  I love my baby girl.

My 7-year-old daughter is soon to be 8 in June. She has such a sweet heart, and has a big one too, but takes the world too serious sometimes, for her age. And has thoughts way beyond her years. So as we sat folding out laundry, she begins to get teary eyed. Nothing in particular was happening. She was having some back and forth with her sister that I told her to chill out about. She has a pretty high guilt-conscience (if that makes sense). So she is quick to apologize for her mishaps. So, anyway, I asked her what was wrong. She hesitated. I asked her again and assured her to trust me, that she could tell me anything. She curdled out that it’s hard to explain. I asked her what it was about. So she says, “I can’t imagine being without you.” Oh man. Melted my heart but cause me to chuckle a little. I urged her to trust God and that she shouldn’t worry about this now.  She agreed.  Now I don’t know if this is the beginning of what’s to come. She has always been a little more mentally and emotionally mature than average. Sometimes it concerns me, but I appreciate her so much.

I love you sweet girl. I hope our time on earth isn’t cut too short. I hope to see you grow into a beautiful woman. I hope you marry the man of your dreams, who will love and honor you, and see you love your children how I have loved you. I’ve made many mistakes. I pray God covers you with grace in spite of my own mishaps. You are so special. And God made you that way for his own glory.

This is another great day to remember in the books.

Grumble, Grumble

If we complain and grumble about hard work, we teach our kids to do the same. (Phil 2:14). Work unto the Lord (Col 3:23).
I understand sometimes life can become overwhelming.  It’s okay.  Take a deep breath.  That’s when we need to seek God’s peace.  Marriage, parenting, household responsibilities, work, school, sickness, etc. It can all add up, I know.  Fret not, it’s not the end.  Life is part of the journey.  We can either fulfill it with joy or grumble and complain miserably till our death.  The latter ain’t no way to live, in my humble opinion.  But those whose hope is in Christ have a great reward to look towards, a future hope of heaven.

I don’t know about you but when I accomplish a task at hand or something I had planned to do or maybe didn’t plan at all, it’s always a satisfying feeling. God made us to be workers. And we are to work with our whole being; heart, mind and soul. Yes, I know that about loving God too. But those other verses tell us to work “cheerfully” and without grumbling. That takes heart. Obviously, working takes physical strength too. And the heart involves the “spirit” that God gives us.

It comes down to attitude, perspective and thankfulness.  It’s hard to do anything cheerfully when our heart is wrong.  But what a great God who gives in abundance when we seek and ask, according to His good purposes.  See Him in all things.

Tea Bags for Eye Infection

Some months ago, this past winter, it appeared my youngest daughter was experiencing the onset of an eye infection. She has been prone to eye infections ever since she was a baby. Not to wanting to run to the doctor for meds right away, I googled a natural treatment of course! So after reading, I decided I’d try soaking her eyes with tea bags. It worked! I think I caught it early enough.
Isn’t she a cute alien looking eye infection?

Child Labor, or Parenting?

Lexi washing dishes. winter 2012. 5 y.o.

Some might call this unfair, or even abuse.  Maybe ridiculous.  I call it parenting.  My children have never been strangers to work.  They have been involved with the daily life of household responsibilities since they were young, like 1 year.  Starting off with simple things like picking up toys when you’re done to play with it.  They will grow up and be adults one day.  They should know what it means to work, to work diligently and cheerfully, not unto men but unto the Lord.  They should learn how to clean up after themselves in various ways, according to their capabilities, whether it be after eating, playing or working, etc., adapting as they mature.  My children are not perfect in their abilities and responsibilities, but it’s a process we continually grow in.  And it will be a process for as long as they live, as it is for me.  Just because they have not fully grasped it yet doesn’t mean they can’t.  We all need practice.  Learning anything at all takes either being taught or learning to do it yourself.  Part of that process also takes practice, practice, practice.  It may take us a day, a week, or a year, but by golly, we can do it!  Anything is possible through Christ, right?  Or is that too cliché to include here?

My children (generally) love to help.  It’s not just in the doing, but “serving”.  Christ calls us to serve and the gift we receive in serving is the joy it brings when we’re productive.  Children are no different.  God created us for good works.  I don’t know about you, but I always feel like satisfied when I’ve completed a task.

Anyway, my youngest at age 5 in the video, really wanted to wash the dishes this day.  Well, my girls would do the dishes more often if I let them.  It’s just faster, easier and less messy when I do it.  Well, this day Lexi did a great job.  She scrub that rice pot for probably 3 minutes or more.  It was a clean pot.  She was such so cute.  And I was a proud mommy.