Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

My Hubs, A Man of Many Interests

One of the biggest things that attracted me to my husband was his intellect.  I was intrigued.  I was going through a period of major growing (among many) and learning  in my faith as a Christian.  We had intelligent conversations.  It was very stimulating.  He was a serious sap.  I am always amazed at how much info he swallows in a day.  His ability to consume info from books to articles is amazing.  He keeps up with theology for pastorate, current events and everything else.  He has a passion for sports.  Especially baseball.  The things he is passionate about can be contagious.  I have grown in my interest of reading books partly due to him.  Before him, I don’t think I met anyone who loved books more.  He has an insatiable hunger for knowledge.  Honestly, sometimes that can be annoying.   I only imagine his mind racing a million times faster than mine so sometimes when he’s interrupted in his train of thought, it’s like a crash.  Sometimes not too pretty.

He loves music.  He introduces us to a lot of different artists.   I just don’t keep up with trends anymore.  That may or may not be a good thing.  But he is totally a white boy when it comes to dancing!

He likes to watch and dissect movies and shows and find redemption in the story lines.  Sometimes tries too hard.

He likes to play games.  He has only beat me at chess 2 times of all the timers we’ve played.  I said he lets me win.  He denies it.  His fav board game right now is Wits ‘n Wagers.  I always say it gives him opportunity to gamble without really gambling.  He enjoys video games, too.  We compete in Wii sports’ golf.  He’s pretty sexy when he bowls, in real life, that is.  I very much dislike playing monopoly with him!

His excitement in all the things he loves is contagious because it’s sincere and passionate.  I never was a baseball fan.  I would rather play the sport than watch it on tv.  I was one of those people who thought, ‘how in the world can you just sit and watch such a slow-moving game and actually enjoy it?”  Well, I still don’t jump at baseball but I can appreciate the game much more now because of him.  Because of him, I also enjoy and understand politics a little better but still learning.  I intentionally remain ignorant of some of that stuff to keep sane!

He loves us, his family.  It hasn’t been all peaches and cream.  Actually, many times it’s been a down right battle.  But I know he loves us and that he is continually pursuing a growth, understanding and love for us.  He wants to touch me even when I’m gross.  I can’t say the same!  We aren’t perfect and I’m not always the easiest person to love.  I have high expectations.  We have both grown in God’s grace as He has been faithful to carry us.  We still have a journey ahead.   He’s a man smarter and wiser than his years in many respects.  He has cared for us for the last 11 years and may God be glorified in the years ahead.

Categories: Marriage, Random Ramblings

Ask, but Beware: You May Get the Truth

So, if I ask my husband if I look fat, I expect that he should tell me the truth.  And if that truth should be that, yes, I look fat, I cannot and should not punish him for answering the question truthfully by getting mad.  Otherwise, he will learn to be inclined not to be honest with me, and as a Christian, is that seriously what we should be encouraging?  If you don’t really want to know the truth, it’s not right that you ask.  The world tells us that husbands should tell their wives what they want to hear so long as it keeps them happy, thus also people in general.  But should that really be the case?  Being encouraging and kind doesn’t always mean tell people just he good they want to hear even if it should be a stretch of the truth or some round about way of denying the truth.  I’m sure you’ve heard the many punch lines of how a husband acquiesces to his wife’s every whim.  That’s not necessarily love.  We should realize that we may not like the answer we get and that has to be okay.  Being insecure isn’t always about others.  I believe it’s more about our own hearts.  I submit it stems from sin foremost and more about our own self-centeredness.  And being told truth shouldn’t throw us into rage or a hole.  You can either “run from it, or learn from it.”  Okay, so that’s a semi-quote from the movie Lion King in which they were talking about the past.  It’s still applicable.  You can either puff up your pride to preserve yourself image based on misconstrued truth b/c you don’t like it but I don’t consider that a healthy image at all.  Be honest with yourself and allow others to be honest without your worlds colliding.  I dare assume, it will not be the end of your world.  Sticks and stones, sometimes, remember?  But even with that, that’s only in the case of intentional cruelty, not friendly truth, especially when prompted or just in conversation.  So, my point here is this:  if you’re going to ask a question, be open to hearing, learning from what you hear and honest about the answer.  Don’t backlash on the messenger.

Women, Pray for Your Husbands

Lessons in Feminine Godliness, noted#1

Sure, I struggle with this.  I’m not quiet but I have my moments.  I seek the gentle spirit but sometimes I’m rough around the edges.  But this is my Lord’s will, that I submit to a blameless life.  It’s a good thing I don’t live it on my own, but my Savior has died for a wretch like me.  I will persevere.  I will be longsuffering.  I will endure.  I will pursue.  So help me God.

Lessons in Husbandry, Noted#1

Honor marriage among all.  Do not defile the marriage bed.  Purity is a virtue God commands.  The world and all its lustful desires creeps in subtly.  It can be in movies, magazines, any kind of print media, commercials.  You name it.  We become oblivious to it all because it’s very much a part of our every day exposure.  It’s sad really.

Calling all men, but especially godly men!  You are responsible for cultivating a secure love in your marriage.  Your pursuit of your wife doesn’t end after the wedding rings are exchanged or the when the ‘honeymoon’ period is over.  Your wedding day was a promise of a life long pursuit of her happiness via your leadership.  Don’t let your guard down when it comes to external temptations.  If your marriage is boring or lifeless, maybe you aren’t appreciating the gift of marriage as you should.  It’s hard, I know.  But not impossible.  Could i throw in that ever-so-cliche bible phrase here:  “with God all things are possible”.  All things are possible for those who believe (Mark 9:23)

It’s quite sad that the staggering divorce rates among so-called Christians is no better than the unbeliever.  How are we setting the standard?  How are we setting ourselves apart, Christian?  Men, loves your wives as you ought.  Fight for your gift to love her.  Cherish her as you would your daughter, and then some.   I know it’s hard for me too often to find more comfort in my children than my husband and I see the love and compassionate affection my husband has for our girls.  It’s one of the most precious sights a wife could ever witness.  When I see the endearing joy and love my husband expresses just through his eyes when he looks at them sometimes, it gives me a sense of peaceful joy.

Ahem…Side tracked a little.  Back to loving your wife.  Men, observe your wife often.  Listen wholeheartedly and make mental notes.  You may actually learn about her.  Use that knowledge to romance her.  You may be amazed at how she might respond!  Be the man of her dreams, the man she needs.  This all takes intentional practice.  If you are complacent, then so will your marriage.  Don’t let your passion die like that.  Fight your temptations to do…, you fill in all the blanks.  God’s glory is at stake.  And so is your happiness.  Ready?  Go!


Categories: Life, Marriage, Uncategorized

Just for laughs. Father’s Day 2012

The progression of the smile, or degression rather.



Looking scared…

Father’s Day.  I just wanted some pictures of us.  This is what became of our little photo shoot.

Here are my cute girls and the shirt they made for daddy.

Man, Love Your Wife

While I may not 100% agree with everything Mark Driscoll says and does, he does say and do good things.  And if you think I’m weak because of it and will have a negative predisposed  position towards me because I don’t fully sign up to everything he does via groveling over him, grow up.

This is a good read,, even though the written grammar is bad.  No offense.  Me and my grammar.  I’m kind of a grammar nazi.  It’s one of my curses.

Some quotables:

Now, my tone is for the men. We speak to men differently than women. Were this a women’s conference, I would not call you all idiots and imbeciles and fools, that you’re a joke, okay? But you men, this is where it needs to go. You’ve been glad-handed and buddied up and positive thinking and you’re a winner and Jesus loves you and you can do better. And I’m telling you, you’re a joke. And the real men in the room know it and they see it. And maybe there’s one woman that you fooled and she doesn’t see it because like Eve, she’s deceived.  His beginning disclaimer.  Sometimes I wish women could talk like this to each other, just being frankly honest.

Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.  Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.  You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.  Wow.  Now if that ain’t to the point.

Head of household does not mean bully.  I’ve said this myself. I’m convinced and this confirms it for me.

Some of you say, “I’m not emotional, I don’t connect.” You should. Men and women have the same emotions; they express them in masculine and feminine ways. Your wife needs intimacy. She wants you to know her. She wants to know you. She wants you to open up. She wants you to be passionate and loving and honest, and she wants to know you and she wants to be known by you. And the Bible says that Adam was with his wife, Eve, and he, what?  He knew her.  There are too many guys that turn marriage into a job description. He does his responsibility, she does hers, and there’s no emotional connection whatsoever. Those are guys whose sins are sins of omission. “I didn’t hit her, I didn’t yell at her.” Yeah, but you didn’t love her. You didn’t connect with her. You didn’t encourage her. You didn’t pursue her.  Ultimately, you failed her.

Because that guy doesn’t know how to run numbers on taxes. He’s not smart enough to find somebody to figure it out for him. He just says, “Put the kids in day care, get a job, shoulder half of my curse. Oh and by the way, I forgot to run the numbers, come to find it’s not really helping.”  Honor her financially.  I have to say relating to this, not that knowing your tax laws makes you more manly, but I care for the daily numbers, keeping the bank account current, paying bills, account balance; stuff like that.  But my husband takes care of the big stressers, like tax filing, insurance and the like.  He actually keeps on top of me in the little things sometimes too, seeing the big picture, kinda like big brother.  But that’s his protection over us.  I so appreciate his leadership in this and trusting me with the daily things.

Point 7 is big for me.  I know husband/wife relationship come first.  But as an instinctive mother, you could say, a way to a wife’s heart is through her children.  Kind of like the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  I know that’s not as profound and biblical, but you get the point.  You can tell a lot from a man by observing his interactions with children, even before marriage.  It’s a good tester.

Point 8 is where it should all begin.