Archive for the ‘Womanhood’ Category

Giving Birth in NY

It was 2006.  An extremely rainy day in upstate NY.  She was my third child.  Being induced even a week early, she would be my heaviest baby yet.  It was my first experience with an epidural.  Make that two doses.  The first started to wear off, as did the second.  The epidural was an awful experience.  Not what I was hoping or expecting.  Labor was all day.  After pushing for about  2 hours, she would have to be assisted out with tongs.  Sort of like the kind you cook with, except bigger.  Not pleasant.  It took some time for the epidural to wear off, so I was confined to the bed during that time.  Just as well.  I did just give birth.  You won’t find me eager to jump out of bed after such an event.

The nurses told me to buzz the remote for help.  The time came to empty the ol’ bladder.  I needed help off the bed.   The nurse that came to see what help I needed was disappointed to learn that I “just” needed help out of bed to visit the toilet.  I had just given birth to an 8lb. 10 oz. baby.  I’m only 5’2″.  I was a bit sore.

Some nurses are not meant for this field.  I understand there may be occasions when people overreact to injuries.  I’d be the first to say “shake it off” if I were a nurse or doctor and someone came in with a scrape on the knee.  But you must love to serve and help others no matter how trivial you might think their injury is.  In my case, birth is a big deal.  Not like just some splinter removal.  Trying to expel a baby out of a hole the size of your fist is not some little feat.  It is labor!  It involves pain!  And recovery isn’t instant.  You can’t possibly understand until you’ve tried it.

I understand every state has its own laws and they differ, generally.  Well, I wanted to video record the birth but a friend told us that that wasn’t allowed.  I should have checked the law, just to be sure.  I told him to try until someone told him he couldn’t.  Technically, we weren’t told by anyone in the hospital that we couldn’t.  But I told my husband what my friend had told me.  Being the law-abiding citizen that he is, he did not record when I asked him to.  Rats!  Know your laws!

In the same day, when one of the nurses came to check on me, I heard a hard-crying baby.  I said, “that’s not my baby, is it?”  She casually said, “yes.”  I asked how long my baby’s been crying.  She says, “a while.”  What the heck??!  I asked if maybe she was hungry or something.  She responds, “probably.”  So I asked her to bring her to me so I can nurse her.  She says she can’t because it’s protocol to keep the baby under supervision for 4 hours after birth and the babies have to stay in the nursery that whole time.  But, she could feed her a bottle, if I wanted.  What the heck, again??!!  They didn’t tell me that.  They didn’t tell me that when they took her away, I wouldn’t be able to see her for a while.  I thought they were just going to do the usual clean and basic check and bring her back.   So, I couldn’t nurse her, couldn’t see her.  I even wasn’t told I could go see her in there.  I wasn’t given much info at all.  My baby is wailing and nobody bothers to tell me.  That’s awful service.

I was thankful to have one dear lady from our church there as a nurse before she retired.  It’s always nice to have a familiar, friendly face to support and care for you in such a blessed, life-changing moment.  And that’s what it feels like after- a moment.  That moment of pain we call “labor”  cannot/does not compare to the future blessing of ups (and downs) and privilege to care for the little lives we now call sons and daughters.

So, if you find yourself in the honor of serving someone through labor and delivery, remember that this is a big deal, an extraordinary moment is about to occur and you get to be a part of it.   That woman needs your care.  Serve her with kindness.  Be proactive.  Better to be alert and helpful than passive and miss an opportunity.  Especially for new, first time moms.  And the baby.  don’t forget the baby.  And especially you, Christian.  Give God glory.  She may blog about you one day.


Confessions of a Wannabe Super Mom

Yes, I want to be a super mom.  I want to be able to do it all.  Why not?  But, realistically, I can’t, and I don’t.  And that’s okay.  But, I try!  I think to strive for excellence.  Excellence should be within the Christian perspective.  It is our aim.  Do I do it all perfectly?  No.  Do I do it all, at all?  No.  But it is my desire to and I strive to that end.  I shall, that in all I do, I do it for the glory of God (Colossians 3:23).   Whatever we seek to do with our hands, we should put effort to do it well (Ecclesiastes 9:10).  Do I always do it well?  No.  But that was and is always my aim.  Am I going to complain and pout to the world that I can’t do something?  Well, maybe.  I need to stop that.  I shouldn’t whine in self-pity for attention.  I need to keep on.  I’m going to keep on going, keep on trying.  Am I perfect?  No.  Are my kids perfect?  No.  Is my house picture perfect.  No.  But, OH, there is Pinterest!!

I’ve always wanted to have a family with lots of kids.  Ten would have been really cool!  My husband differs on that idea.  Well, we just had our (technically) 5th.  Our last baby did not survive the first trimester but we are thankful for our heavenly Father’s grace.

I’ve only come from a family of 4 children.  Not too big, not too small.  We were far from perfect.  We were very dysfunctional, actually.  So, my desire has nothing to do with my upbringing.  If that were the sole example, I should be running from anything “family”.

I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and I’m so thankful that I am blessed to do so and that it’s also my husband’s desire.  Although I never thought I’d be a homeschooling mom, here I am.  I am thankful for being able to be at home with my kids and see their progress at each stage of their lives.  Surely, if they were in public school, I’d be the involved mom who’s always at the school bugging the teachers and being a nuisance asking tons of questions.  That’s how I was with my oldest who attended public school off and on.  But even better, I get to supervise and see each stage of their learning first hand.

Since I was a young girl playing house,  I used to pretend to do all the things the modern woman might make you feel is ancient, traditional and belittling of a woman’s full potential.  Well, that’s what I wanted to grow up and do- have a family and take care of them doing all those “boring” things- cook, clean, love on my family…  There are so many things as a mom that I “get” to do and it blesses me to do them, right down to changing those sometimes nasty diapers.

So, what does it mean to be a super mom?  I’m sure that can be left up to interpretation.  For me, do what you do and try your best to do it well.  Don’t know how?  Learn.  In the age of google, not much can’t be learned.  Know your limitations and be okay with it.  But don’t go around throwing pity speeches about “poor you” and what you can’t do.  There’s also always the old fashion way, seek someone older, wiser, knowledgeable and ask.  Experiment (not on your kids – well, that depends on what it is!).  So, go… and be excellent.  May the Lord bless you in your pursuit.

Modest Bikini You Say?

The title- I’d say that’s an oxymoron.